A new beginning--creating art

Living in an apartment isn't the easiest way to create art but sometimes you just have to find a way to deal with things. I've been wanting to make another skeleton piece but ran out of orange fabric and really can't be dyeing here-we don't even have a kitchen as such, just a refridgerator-sink-stove along one wall of the living room. I decided to try painting the fabric instead.

I did 2 pieces; one I painted blotchy orange and then stamped over in red/orange paint:

The other i stamped also but wasn't as happy with the overall spacing so i restamped over it with a blue checkerboard. This piece will be worked on further; I'm thinking of dyeing it a medium blue to integrate the checkerboard into the background and make the red stamps stick out more.

For now, it felt good and I'm pleased with the start I made.

Decision Made!!!

I really hate indecision. I can be tenacious, determined, stubborn even, and not know when to quit once I have my course set, but getting it set is very difficult for me. It's not because I'm wishy-washy but that I want to be sure my choice is the best choice--because, once I choose, I am stubborn and tenacious. If I'm going to be that focused on my path, I need to be sure it's the right one before I get started.

Since I need to be here with my parents at this time, it's impossible for me to maintain my home but how in the world do I fit all my earthly belongings into 1 bedroom??? Furniture and clothes are no problem, but all my art supplies??? Putting them in storage isn't an answer because then I can't use them, so what's the point in keeping them? And how do I justify keeping all that "stuff" that I want to use in my art--someday--but really has no value until then???
Keeping the house vacant until I'm able to move back isn't an answer because of the neighborhood, which is not the best to be sure, and an empty house is asking for trouble. Too much vandalism and destruction.

On the other hand, this would be the perfect time to just let go and move on with my life...use this time at my parents as a time to downsize, clear out, reduce my baggage, and get ready to be free of all entanglements. One of my dreams has been to travel but I was never free enough to go...this would be a good goal right now (lack of money aside).

On another hand-or are we back to the first one again?--I've always wanted and needed a studio and where will I ever find rent as cheaply as my payments are here? I've been crusading about turning Slavic Village into another art community, so why not put my money where my mouth is and Do It Myself?

So--my decision is made: All of the Above! My photography job is only part time now, but i can earn almost enough to pay my bills. The house is on the market, but i don't foresee any real action in this economy so, in the meantime, as long as I don't LIVE in my home but just use it as a studio, the fear of break-in isn't as traumatic and I can go there and Do Art as a job--show up 8am every day I'm not shooting, and WORK. Create Art. Use up my precious supplies that I can't bear to get rid of. Teach. Share. Create an artist's studio in my neighborhood to PROVE that it can be done, and maybe encourage others to do the same, thus helping renew my area. Become a serious artist, market myself, and finally give myself the opportunity to prove I have what it takes to be successful.

Then, when I reach the point where my parents are stable and don't need me, having hopefully used up and spread the wealth of my art, having accomplished my goals and dreams in this area, I can happily move on to the next stage of my life, whatever that will turn out to be.

Sounds like a plan.

trains gone by

I live close to the airport now...not so close that it annoys, but close enough that i can hear the roar of the jet engines preparing for take off. No matter how many times i hear it, i always feel a longing to be onboard. Destination is immaterial, I just want to be entering that 21st century magical carpet that will take you anywhere you want to go...to walk that narrow path between the seats looking for my own place by the window where i wait to be whisked above the clouds.


I have to have a window seat; only once was i in the second seat and luckily for him, the person in MY window seat was sleeping because i spent the entire trip nearly on his lap looking out the window. no matter how many times i've flown since, i still love peering out, trying to decipher the ground beneath me and identify the towns, the rivers, the mountains as i pass over them. Even at night, the sparkle of the lights as we pass over the cities is amazing.

I remember the first time i flew, only 10 years ago. We took off, heading out of the snowy cleveland airport to the sunshine i thought you could only find in florida but now i realize exists everywhere--above the clouds. no amusement park ride thrills me as the sensation of lift-off! we banked out over lake erie and then headed south...i had my nose pressed to the window watching the ground unfold before me as we gained altitude. I could see a river looping below and was excited--that must be the metro park--and then my amazement when the captain came over the loudspeaker to welcome us on board and tell us we just crossed the Ohio River! we had traveled the equivalent of 5 1/2 hours on land in just minutes!!!

The engines' roar creates in me the same longing that the railroad whistle must have done to others a hundred years ago. However, an airport just doesn't look as romanticly evocative as a set of rails do. A few months ago, a friend took me around to some places in our neighborhood i never knew existed. who'd have thought there'd be an abandoned railroad roundhouse in the middle of an urban neighborhood? i stood on the tracks and the rails stretched as far as the eye could see...the only difference is these rails eventually led to the steelmills rather than across the midwest plains.